Ever have one of those mornings? I had two events to go to today, but early in the a.m. my little corner of the world was icy and slippery, and I am not a good ice driver. So, hmmm... how to get to Crafty Wonderland this morning? I could take the MAX, no problem. But then I wouldn't be able to get to my afternoon gathering without being very late. Delay, hesitation. Another delay. By the time I start heading for the MAX I notice the roads aren't so bad, so back home I go to get the car and then I'll be able to go to the afternoon thing, too. Had to go back into the house for something, then back out to get in the car - oops. I just locked myself out of the house. Luckily I have my cell phone and my car key so I can call Willow and ask to borrow her house key. I drive over to her dad's apartment with the full intention of heading on over to Crafty Wonderland after I get the key. Thanks, Willow. I'll give it back to you tomorrow. Bye. What the...? I have a flat tire? Are you kidding me? Ugh, I don't want to put the spare on here. OH! I'll just drive the half block to the gas station and put air in it. What's going on at the gas station? Oh my gosh! It's closed and they're digging up the old holding tanks. Well, the tire shop isn't very far. (I drive carefully on my low tire.) Great - of course, the tire shop is closed. Does this gas station have air hoses? No? I crawl back home (across the street and down the lane - you see, I do actually know that I'm not supposed to drive on a flat tire). Ok, ok ok - I get it! It's a sign!
LULU, THIS IS GOD/YOUR HIGHER POWER (and the divinity within - or at the very least, your intuition) SPEAKING: STAY HOME!
Whatever it is that sends these messages, I've got to start learning to hear them and take heed.
But now I want to know why - why am I supposed to stay home today? I feel like I'm supposed to figure something out - my direction. Where am I heading with my art? I don't think I'm supposed to do production work. I did that before and it was boring for me. But I want to be able to do art full time, and that means it needs to support me and my kids, so...
SO HELLO, GOD! I AM TRYING REALLY HARD TO HEAR YOU. How do I do this? What exactly is it that I'm supposed to do? I know that this is what we in education call disequilibrium - that difficult moment when we think we can't figure it out, but we push on and try different solutions and then we have a breakthrough - but I'm impatient and often thick-headed when the solution presents itself, so PLEASE, smack me in the face with the answers so there will be no doubt. I DO need your help.
Thank you.
Lulu
2 comments:
I learned to trust that the universe will give you the nudge, not always clearly however.
Isn't it amazing how the nudge gets
bigger when you don't pay attention to the little signs.
The journey is the be all, have fun on it. In your art you certainly do.
Corrine
Love this Lulu!! *signs* can be so hard to read at times, but your repeated driving road blocks really were loud and clear - get off the road and be at home!! I think that sometimes it can be very easy to get caught up in the search for answers, the whys of things, rather than just allowing the answers to evolve organically, by making the space and time for them to arise. The seeking can take all my attention and the answer remains illusive until I let go. If I simply am present with each thing I do, or make time to sit quietly (so many of my ah-ha moments happen in a nice long bath!) my quiet voice speaks clearly, and shifts happen!
be well, Karin
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